Being Liked is Overrated
By Dana P. Rowe, PCC, CPCC, CPQC
I placed my chubby little hands on my little four-year-old hips, squinted threateningly at my dad, and said with as much menace as I could muster, “I don’t like you!”
Well, Cleve Rowe let out one of his best signature belly laughs, and mirroring me with his hands on his hips, he chuckled, “Well, I don’t care if you like me. What I care about is that you’re safe. No bike riding after dark, Dana Paul.”
You see, my dad knew all the secrets. For starters, he knew that if he used my middle name, I knew he meant business. More importantly, he knew that being liked is way overrated, loving someone takes courage, and you really don’t have anything if you haven’t earned trust and respect.
Well, I was crushed. My threats of liking or disliking clearly held no magical powers where my dad was concerned. And while I didn’t understand 100% why I wasn’t allowed to ride my sporty, training-wheel-equipped bike on the dark sidewalks of Columbus, Ohio’s south side, I did get one message loud and clear. My good ol’ dad, Kentucky’s own Cleve Rowe, wanted me to be safe whether I liked him or not.
And that day, I learned that even when I didn’t like my dad — and we did clash plenty of times before his death in 2007 — even when I didn’t like him, I always trusted him. And because I knew I could trust him, I had an organic, unfaltering level of respect for him. I knew Cleve would always tell me the truth as he saw it, whether I liked it or not. And that counts for plenty in my book.
It all takes a lot of courage, you know — daring to love, daring to speak your truth. And where children are concerned, and sometimes parents (the tables do turn), you have to be willing to be disliked and open yourself up to that possibility. Especially when the care and well-being of that loved one is in your hands.
And when we take a step back, this handy little equation applies to all our relationships – from family and friends to business and even complete strangers:
Love demands truth, truth leads to trust, and trust builds respect.
So, of all the lessons my dad taught me, these are perhaps the most important: Being liked? Its way overrated and — in a world where truth is becoming harder and harder to find – truth, trust, and respect are what matter most.
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If you’re looking for more posts like this one, be sure to check out the rest of my blog posts for Creative Artists and Entrepreneurs here.